first ⚔️ tomatoes are veggies

[rokubro]

Type: Text
Sender ID: rokubro (Rokurou)
To: Public
Subject: Tomatos R Veggtabels
Warnings: Chaos and ragebaiting

[There is only the following message depicted in this picture:]



[text version for those who can't see the image:

Tomatos R Veggtabels CHANGE MY MIND

Yep, that's it. HE'S ON TEAM VEGETABLES NO MATTER WHAT try and prove him and everyone else wrong—

This is an open post that anyone can threadjack and comment to anyone!]

Comments

[sparkstrikes]

Alright then.

[She'll try a different tack, and will probably regret this later.]

Convince me that they're a vegetable.

[rokubro]

They taste like one.

[That's it that's his argument—



Yeah he's deliberately being difficult.]

And you use them more as a vegetable than a fruit. Don't really mix them with apples and peaches for a drink, right?

[sparkstrikes]

Who says you can't? People put "vegetables" in drinks all the time. Carrots, spinach, kale. Believe it or not, there's a drink made with tomato juice, so that logic's flawed.

[SHE IS NOT GIVING UP.]

[rokubro]

So, would you call ketchup a smoothie?

[sparkstrikes]

[MORE WTF LOGIC, where is he coming up with all of this!?]

Do you drink ketchup?

[rokubro]

[DON'T UNDERESTIMATE HIS ABILITY TO BULLSHIT HE WAS THE YOUNGEST BROTHER OF SIX AND MESSED WITH EIZEN.]

Never thought to, but I could.

[sparkstrikes]

[Excuse you???]

No, you can't. No one can drink a whole thing of ketchup in one go. Nobody should.

[Though, now she wonders if saying that has only made him want to do it more. Ah, the regret is already there in her expression...]

[rokubro]

[If she sees the way his eye gleams then yes.

Yes it does.]

Hey, I'm a daemon, I can stomach a lot more than the average human.

[They lost the plot.]

[sparkstrikes]

That is not how you win this argument, Rokurou.

[Don't you dare do it. Please don't, please don't...]

It won't change the fact that it's a fruit.

[rokubro]

Sure it does. You can "say" [Actually air quotes with one hand since he's holding the phone with the other.] it's a fruit for all those science reasons, but we all know that at its heart, it's a true vegetable.

And that's what matters.

[??? Or some such logic.]

[sparkstrikes]

You'd be the only person that would drink an entire bottle of ketchup just to prove an opinion that's wrong.

[rokubro]

Naaaah, I'm sure there are other people.

[He bets Eizen would do something similar to prove it's a fruit if he goaded him long enough—]

Just need to find a bottle.

[sparkstrikes]

You're not actually going to do this, are you?

[Staring daggers at him through the phone.]

[rokubro]

Why, gonna stop me?

[At this point, it's less to prove a point and more because she challenged him.

And he hardly ever backs down from one.]

[sparkstrikes]

At this point, I'm not sure I can...

[rokubro]

I'll call you once I find a bottle.

[sparkstrikes]

Please don't.

[Yeah, she's just... going to hang up now, although she figures that her protests only further his desire to do the exact opposite of what she asks if only so that he can "prove his point".

All he's going to do is prove that he can drink an entire bottle of ketchup...

With that, their call ends.]

[rokubro]

[Yep, she is exactly right.

Should he do this?

Probably not.

Will he?

Yes.

So it'll be a little bit of time before Lightning will receive a text that just has Rokurou holding up a bottle of ketchup and the words:]

fond a bottl

[sparkstrikes]

[Well, to his credit, at least he didn't call, but the photo doesn't make it any better.]

Great. Now put it in the fridge and save it for some fries.

[rokubro]

[Next picture is of the bottle uncapped and him holding it up closer to his face as if to drink it.]

nah gnna drnk it

wnna watch?

[sparkstrikes]

[Ew!!!]

No.

[But she has a suspicion that he's going to do it anyway—]

[rokubro]

[He's definitely going to do it because RING RING video call incoming.]

[sparkstrikes]

[What if she just doesn't answer...




She picks up on the last ring, turns on video—]

... Can't believe I'm doing this.

[rokubro]

[He'd just call again—

But Rokurou will just smirk, waving the bottle of ketchup on the screen.]

I'm a man of my word.

[sparkstrikes]

[It's terrible how morbidly curious she is now, like she's about to watch a trainwreck coming from miles away.]

Hope you've got a straw for it. Not a smoothie without one.